Many people type "how much to spend on a wedding gift" into a search engine. It is one of the most searched money questions there is. Nobody asks it out loud, because money is the last real taboo. Any number sounds mean or showy once you say it. So here is a calm answer, with real figures, and the reassuring fact behind them.
Why every number feels wrong
The discomfort has a clear cause. A wedding gift is one of the few purchases that other people see. At some point, the couple will know roughly what everything cost. So the amount feels like a public statement about how much you value them, and no figure feels comfortable when you see it that way. The way out is to see the amount for what it is: one factor among several, and not the one anyone remembers.
The three things that really change the amount
Closeness. This comes first. As a general guide, not a rule: for a colleague or someone you are not close to, £25-50 is fine. For a friend, £50-100. For a close friend or family, £100 or more, if you can afford it. No reasonable person is offended by any amount within those ranges.
Whether you are attending, and what attending costs you. You may travel far, stay overnight and buy an outfit. Your presence already costs you money, and convention really does allow for that. A guest who spent hundreds of pounds getting there can give less, without apologising. Some people still follow the "cover your plate" rule, the idea that your gift must match the cost of your meal. It is time to drop it. You are a guest, not a customer, and the couple chose the venue, not you.
Your actual means. The couple invited a person, not a bank balance. £20 from someone just starting out, who can barely afford it, counts in full. £100 given out of habit by someone comfortable counts for no more. Give what fits your situation. Giving more than you can afford looks like a show, and people notice it for the wrong reasons.
What the couple really remembers
This part is reassuring. Research on gift price and gratitude keeps finding the same gap. Price predicts how grateful givers expect the couple to feel, but mostly not how grateful they actually feel. Couples remember who came, who wrote something real in the card, and the few gifts that were clearly chosen. The best gift is rarely the most expensive one, and weddings are no exception. Nobody looks back fondly on the size of a bank transfer.
So the question changes. Use the three factors above to get the amount roughly right. Then put the rest of your worry into choosing the gift, because the choice is what the couple will notice.
Gift list, cash or off-list
If there is a gift list, choose from it, at a price within your range. A gift they asked for is reliably better than an improvised one. Cash or a fund, if the couple asks for it, is a gift like any other, and the note is what makes it personal. You can buy something off the list, but only if you really know the couple's taste. We have written up when that works and when it does not.
If you do go off the list, choose for the way the two of them really live. What matters is how well the gift suits them, not the amount. Tell us who they are: the couple, their style and the amount you decided on. Then swipe through gifts that fit within that amount.