How much you should spend on a birthday present depends on who it is for and what the people around you already do, not on a national figure. Spend an amount you would be happy to spend every year. Stay close to what friends or family usually give each other, and never let the price be the message. A gift that suits them at a modest price is better than a bigger one that does not.
People search this question, and ask strangers, in many forms: "how much is reasonable to spend on a birthday gift?", "is $200 a lot for a birthday gift?", how much for a friend, for a boyfriend, for a classmate's party. No survey answers them, because the right amount is local. It is set by the people around you, and the rules below show how to find it.
Four rules that work for anyone
Pick a number you could repeat. A birthday comes every year. An amount you could spend again next year, and the year after, is one you can keep. If you could not, you will have to lower it later.
Stay near what they spend on you. Gifts between friends and family settle into a rough balance. Spending far more can make the other person feel they owe you. Spending far less is fine when money is tight, as long as the gift shows you thought about it.
Ask what is normal, quietly. For a child's party, a group of friends or a family with its own habits, someone already knows the usual amount. One question to a person you trust answers it.
Let the gift carry the meaning. Once the amount is set, put your effort into finding a gift that suits them. We have written about why the best gift isn't the most expensive one.
How much should I spend on a friend's birthday present?
Spend what you and that friend usually spend on each other, and what your group does. If the group buys one present together, give what the others give. If you swap gifts one to one, stay close to what they gave you last time.
Be careful about spending more than someone who is closer to them than you are. Two Reddit threads, with 317 and 5,259 comments, were about exactly this. A friend's much bigger present upset the birthday person's partner, because it seemed to say something about the friendship. If you want to give more than the group, give something more personal, not more expensive.
How much should I spend on my boyfriend or girlfriend?
Spend what you can afford every year without strain. Agree the amount together if that helps. A gift that stretches your budget can make the other person uncomfortable rather than pleased.
Couples decide this in different ways. Some agree an amount. Some agree to buy one thing to share. Some keep it flexible. Any of these works if you both know which one you are doing.
How much to spend on a kid's birthday party present?
Spend what the other parents spend. Every class and group of friends has a usual amount, and the easiest way to learn it is to ask one other parent. "What is gift etiquette at toddler birthday parties?" got 180 comments on r/AskUK, so you are far from the only one wondering.
Some groups put money together for one present, especially for a big class party. If yours does, join in. If the invitation asks for no gifts, respect that (see the questions below).
What is the going rate for a cash birthday gift?
Give whatever your family has always given, the same for children of the same age. Cash is the easiest gift to compare, so being consistent matters more than the amount. Two cousins of the same age who open different amounts will notice.
Choose a round amount and keep to it each year. Raise it at the big birthdays (eighteen, twenty-one) if that is your family's custom. A card that says what you hope they do with the money turns it into a gift.
When spending more is right
Some birthdays deserve a bigger gift: an important milestone birthday, something they have wanted for years and will not buy themselves, or a tool they use every day where a better version really is better. In each case, the money buys something specific.
Ask whether this gift would still be right at half the price. If yes, you are paying for the gift itself, and the amount is fine. If you are choosing it mainly because it is expensive, think again. (Weddings have their own customs; see how much to spend on a wedding gift.)
Once you have an amount, the hard part is finding something that suits the person within it. Tell us who they are and set the budget. Then swipe through gifts chosen to suit them at that price.
Questions people ask
Is it rude to spend less than they spent on me?
No. A gift that clearly suits them matters more than matching their amount, and most people never compare. A modest gift that looks carefully chosen is received well. A gift that looks bought in a hurry is not. If money is tight this year, buy something small and specific to them, or tell them honestly that you are keeping things simple.
Is it fair to spend more on one child?
Children notice what their siblings and cousins get. So keep the spending roughly equal at the same occasion, even when the gifts are different. Some families make it equal over a year rather than each day. When one child gets something bigger, such as a bike, explain it simply. Unequal gifts at the same table cause more hurt than the gifts are worth.
What to do when an invitation says no gifts?
Respect it. The family has a reason, such as space, money or fairness to other guests, and arriving with a present can embarrass parents who followed the request. Bring a card with a kind message instead. If you want to do more, ask the host whether there is something they would welcome, such as a contribution to a day out.
Is cash a thoughtless birthday gift?
Not when it is what they would choose. That is often true for teenagers and young adults saving for something. Cash becomes thoughtless when it replaces the effort of knowing them. A card that says what the money is for, or a small chosen gift with it, shows you thought about the person as well as the amount.